IC INBOX

[witchhooded]

JADE: hello!!!!! you have reached jade harley
unfortunately i am not able to take your call at the moment so please leave a message after the tone!
i will get back to you as soon as i can
also do not send me pictures of snausages, i will block you immediately
have a nice day!!!!! :D

#action #text #voice #video

original code by efryndiel, talksprite by glitterfr33ze

Comments

[witchhooded]

[ jade extends a hand, the other gripping the wet flowers as gently as possible. ]

Okay! You have my permission to court Jake.

[splinten]

[Dirk takes the hand and shakes it.]

Thank you, Ma'am.

[She is 'ma'am' for the duration of this conversation only.]

[witchhooded]

[ oh, yeah, she's gotta seem menacing or something, that's how it works?... uh. ]

Do you know about how wolves hunt?

[splinten]

In packs that rely on a much more egalitarian structure than was originally assumed by research that studied wolves in captivity.

[witchhooded]

[ oh. jade pouts, briefly, before letting go of his hand to place her's on her hip. ]

Let's just say that you will be assuming wrong about how I hunt, even if I'm part Bec now, if you hurt Jake, then.

[ does that work? does it work? was that a good threat??? ]

[splinten]

[A pause. A slight tilt to his head.]

I can't tell if you're threatening to lone-wolf me or get a hierarchy of fellow wolves to track me down. I suggest using a few explicit details alongside suggestive vagueness. It points the mind in the right direction while still leaving the imagination room to invent worse terrors than you could say.

[witchhooded]

[ aw, man. ]

I am not really good at seeming threatening, I'm sorry! I think I am supposed to be in this instance, but the best I can manage is threatening to beat you up, I think.

[splinten]

You could threaten to teleport my heart out of my chest and eat it in front of my eyes.

[witchhooded]

[ OH EW ]

Sounds more like a punishment for me!

[ as if she didn't make nearly that exact threat to roxy ]

[splinten]

You could probably cook it first.

[witchhooded]

Are you trying to ask to eat heart tonight?

[splinten]

I'm just surprised at how close-minded you're being about a good threat.

[witchhooded]

Why surprised? I would think this is good news for you!

[splinten]

Why wouldn't good news be surprising, Harley.

[witchhooded]

You know what I mean, mister! Maybe I should rescind my blessing, hmmmm...

...Just kidding. Even those threats are kind of empty with Godtier, aren't they? It would be a better idea to snap your spinal column just so, that keeps you alive but in a lot of pain and unable to move. You'd be a good rug with such nice, fluffy hair. Like a baby chick! You could serve as a reminder to all of Jake's suitors, I guess?

Wow, that was really morbid, I am sorry!

[splinten]

No, that was beautifully savage. Nice work.

Although I wonder if you'd be able to kill me in these circumstances. Maybe it would count as Just.

[witchhooded]

Hurray! Thanks.

Can you bend down a little bit?

[splinten]

Okay, but don't touch my hair.

[And then he. Obligingly does. Because he's a sucker for the Harlishes, I guess.]

[witchhooded]

Now I really want to touch it.

[ but okay, she won't. she'll settle for flicking his forehead as hard as she can, pulling her middle finger back with her thumb and then letting it go. ]

That was the wrong answer!!

[splinten]

Ow.

[He straightens up.]

You're going to have to be more specific on that.

[witchhooded]

It would not be a Just death. That's not how they work.

[ probably a joke, she reasons, but. hey. ] You have to think a little bit better of yourself!

[splinten]

[It was a joke. But like most ironic things, it was also a little sincere.]

You have to admit that hurting Jake English would make anyone into a villain. Your grandson-slash-grandpa is one of the kindest, most good-hearted people I've ever encountered. Which is a statement that actually means something now that I've met more than three other human beings.

Even setting that aside, it's hard not to detect a suggestion of hypocrisy in your words.

[witchhooded]

Do not forget that you have met a dragon too! [ plus at least one alien, though karkat is as hard to miss as terezi is. it's probably two, by now. ]

I have nooooo idea what you mean by "hypocrisy." None at all. [ she knows exactly what he means. ]

[splinten]

You fucking do, though.

[witchhooded]

Maybe... a little bit. But it is very different when you are trying to involve someone else in your life. If you are a little kinder to yourself, you will regret a lot less later... I can promise you that much.

[ self-deprecation leads to self-pity which leads to selfishness and then you find yourself alone. it's a nasty cycle. jade doesn't know if she can break it, but.

you know, it's a lot easier to believe in dirk and jake. ]